Shaping futures,
one letter at a time.

Many people enter international development because they want to help others. Often, they picture themselves as heroes helping the less fortunate. While this desire to help is good, it’s often not enough. What matters most isn’t your intentions – it’s your ideas.

There’s an old saying: “The road to hell is paved with good intentions.” While being rather dramatic, this saying could describe several failed development projects. When we’re too focussed on our good intentions and wanting to “help”, we can become biased when it comes to the efficacy and efficiency of our work. We may over-present the positive outcomes and under-present the negative outcomes. We might even accept lower standards because we think that any help is better than no help.

This thinking is backward and actually the opposite is true: If people didn’t ask for your help, you may need to provide extremely good help for them to want it. Just because something is free doesn’t mean it can be low quality. Just because your organisation is a charity doesn’t mean that it should be less efficient or viable than a business. The truth is that if you want your project to succeed, it must be sustainable and qualitative and well-organised and it must solve problems that people want to have solved.

So instead of just thinking about how much you want to help, think of specific problems. Don’t just think of abstract notions like poverty or inequality or injustice, be as concrete and precise as possible. Ask yourself: What does poverty look like specifically in this area? What concrete examples of inequality are there? What could be a real, practical solution to these problems? And how can I provide this solution in a sustainable way?

Many people may want to just “start an NGO” but don’t know what for or what about. This will not work. Think of your NGO as a start-up business: Would you want to start a business without a great, new, needed, innovative idea or technology? No. Then why do that with an NGO?

I believe that it is incredibly important for those who want to begin with Christian ministry or international development to seriously question their motivations first. 

For example, ask yourself whom specifically you want to help. Can you name specific groups or concrete individuals? Do you also want to help your family, friends, neighbors, and colleagues or do you just feel that way about abstract people in faraway places? If your desire to help is mainly abstract, it’s probably worth questioning those motivations. The uncomfortable truth is that ideals of abstract service can sometimes mask a deeper desire for recognition or validation. Could you be wanting to help people so othat will see you as good and helpful? 

When the motivation to help others comes from a need for approval, we enter dangerous territory. Pleasing everyone is an impossible task and those who fall into this trap can often overextend themselves. Sometimes we can believe there is no end to the amount of help needed and feel incredibly burdened by it. This can lead us to ignoring our own needs, doing too much and still ending up feeling unfulfilled. This often leads to burnout or exhaustion, and actually makes you less effective in your work. It is important to remember that you are not responsible for fixing ever problem or getting everything right. Your worth does not come from what you do but from who you are, and who you are right now is already worth enough.

Wanting to please people can also lead you to putting on a mask or appearance that doesn’t match who you really are on the inside. It is only when we are comfortable being ourselves that we can make genuine connections. This is not always easy though, because in certain situations we have to choose between pleasing people and being authentic, for example by saying no to people. If we choose to hide our real beliefs and mask our own needs too many times, we can become bitter. And if we then still continue to wear our perfect masks, it can become a very dangerous vicious cycle of ever-increasing resentment and anger.

Pleasing people can also lead to very shallow relationships. If you feel emotionally distanced from the people you are trying to help despite your efforts, consider whether you’re engaging authentically. People can sense when you are doing something to please them and aren’t meeting them on an equal level. When we subtly diminish ourselves, others perceive this imbalance. However, if you respect yourself, it is likely that other people will respect you more too.

The truth is that you will never be able to please everyone. It is also not your job to please everyone. Even if you choose to help people, that is not the same as how much you please them. And how well you can help depends on how well you are taking care of yourself. It’s not selfish to take care of your own needs first. It’s only when you have something yourself that you can also give it to others. Good service comes from being whole, not empty. That’s why it’s important that you can respect your boundaries, can take care of your needs, and that you know your self-worth.