Shaping futures,
one letter at a time.

Many people think that the only possible answer to God’s calling into ministry is a simple and uncomplicated yes. Many people who have done this realise, over time and sometimes through burnout or other reasons, that their yes is not simple or uncomplicated or easy. Sometimes they even come to the opposite answer which is no. This answer comes from an initial yes that was too much, that was too costly, that asked too much of them. The truth is, in my opinion, that our answer to God’s calling should be how? and not just a simple yes or no.

Look at Moses in Egypt. As a young man, he tried to help his people through direct action. He killed an Egyptian who was beating a Hebrew slave. His intentions were good but his methods were wrong. He had to run away and lived in exile for years.

When God called him through the burning bush, Moses had changed completely. Instead of acting rashly, he now questioned everything. But these questions weren’t just resistance – they were requests for help and guidance. Each time Moses expressed a fear or concern, God gave him something concrete to help:

When Moses asked “Who am I to go to Pharaoh?” God revealed His name – “I AM WHO I AM” (Exodus 3:14). This gave Moses authority – he wasn’t going alone but with the name of God.

When Moses said “What if they don’t believe me?” God gave him two miraculous signs – the staff turning into a snake and his hand becoming leprous then clean again (Exodus 4:1-7). These signs would prove his authority.

When Moses said “I am slow of speech and tongue” (Exodus 4:10), God sent Aaron to be his spokesman. Moses didn’t have to do everything alone.

Each of Moses’ fears led to practical help from God. His questions weren’t blocking his calling – they were shaping how he would fulfill it.

I’ve experienced this pattern in my own ministry. I started by trying to help difficult people and situations with pure determination. I thought being willing to suffer for the cause was enough. I ignored warning signs and my own needs because I believed that’s what ministry required. This led to pain and hurt that took years to process.

Later, I swung to the other extreme and wanted nothing to do with these situations. But now I see there’s a middle way. We can serve God while being honest about our limits and needs. We can ask for help and protection. We can negotiate the terms of our service.

This isn’t about lacking faith. It’s about being realistic. God doesn’t want us to burn out. He doesn’t need our naive sacrifice. When Moses asked questions, God didn’t rebuke him – He gave him tools and support.

If you’re facing a calling to ministry, don’t just say yes without thinking. Don’t say no out of fear either. Instead, ask how. Be specific with God about what you need. Share your concerns openly. Look at what happened with Moses – his fears and questions didn’t disqualify him. They led to a better plan.

The space between yes and no is where real ministry happens. It’s where we work out the practical details with God. It’s where we find ways to serve that don’t destroy us in the process.

God can work with our questions. He can handle our fears. Sometimes, like with Moses, these very fears can lead to the support we need to succeed.

When your parents work for God, it is easy to think that God wants your parents to do what they are doing. Your parents may even suggest this by saying things like “God called us to do this kind of work” or “God wants people to live and serve the way we do”. However, it is important to know that there may be differences, potentially big differences, between what your parents are doing and what God really wants from people.

Just because your parents work for God does not mean that God wanted them to do everything the way they did it. Your parents may make mistakes. They may interpret things wrongly. They may set standards that not every Christian can or should fulfill. This matters because many children of ministers carry deep hurt from their parents’ choices – choices that were made “for God.” Understanding that God didn’t necessarily want or approve of everything your parents did can be the first step in healing.

Many children of ministers end up in one of two places: they either become ministers themselves, copying their parents’ approach, or they avoid ministry completely. This often happens because these children learned to see God as their parents saw Him – as someone with extremely high expectations who demands specific kinds of service.

But your parents’ view of God doesn’t have to be yours. When you grow up, your parents are no longer the middle men between you and God. You can develop your own relationship with Him. You can see Him differently than they did. This is crucial whether you choose ministry or not.

If you choose a secular job, you might feel it’s less “holy” than ministry. This feeling comes from years of seeing ministry elevated as the highest calling. But this hierarchy exists in your parents’ understanding, not necessarily in God’s. Your work can be just as valuable and God-honoring as any ministry position.

If you do choose ministry, remember: you don’t have to do it like your parents did. You don’t need to have the same motivations. You don’t need to make the same sacrifices. Each generation can learn from the previous one and make improvements and adapt those lessons to their situation.

But what if you’re now both a minister and a parent yourself? Can you avoid becoming the middle man between God and your children? I don’t know if it’s completely possible. But you can be honest with your children about your imperfections. You can tell them that you don’t understand everything correctly. You can explicitly give them permission to make their own choices.

If your parents chose to live in poverty for their ministry, you do not need to make that same choice. If you choose to live in poverty, you don’t need to force that choice on your childre. If you want to say no to certain things, you can, but you can still ask your children what they want, because it may not be what your want. This awareness that different people have different needs and desires is crucial. What feels like a holy sacrifice to one person might feel like unnecessary deprivation to another.

This last part is particularly challenging for ministers. We often feel pressure to present complete certainty in our faith. But maybe true spiritual leadership means being more open about our shortcomings, not less. Maybe it means saying “I might be wrong about this” or “God might work differently in your life than in mine.”

Your parents’ way of serving God was their way. It doesn’t have to be yours. And if you’re a parent now, your way doesn’t have to be your children’s way either. God is big enough to work with each of us differently.